Wedding Preparations

The first ceremony I participated in for the wedding began before dawn and was for raising up a banner. The red green and white banner was to announce that there would be a wedding in the house.

Sharanya's grandmother (Pati) had gotten up early to wash the front porch and draw Kolam's (or mandalas) on the ground with rice water.

Five women from the neighborhood came to give their blessings for this ceremony. They buried offerings in the ground with the first pole.

Other votive offerings, poojas (prayers) were given and incense were burned before the banner when up. 

We just watched.

After the ceremony was completed, Sharanya and I went around the corner (quite literally) to the local temple to give a small donation. These little temples are everywhere, in every neighborhood, tucked in back alleyways or next to stores.

All of the ceremonies I got to see and participate in were extremely interesting. This was just my introduction. What I saw was that India's traditions are struggling to be passed on. Sharanaya could not tell me many things about what her religion or wedding ceremonies meant. She is not a religious person, but I don't think that is particular to her, it is indicative of her generation. 

Hinduism is so complex and so pervasive in all things in Indian life, yet Indian's know less and less about it because they have (like most cultures at some point) rejected much of it as superstition in their hurry to embrace modernity. As her generation grows and experiences the world, some will come to an understanding that these kinds of ceremonies are not just about the votives, the superstitions and the omens. They are about the community. Sometimes these kinds of ties cut into us such as when here family was questioned on how they felt about her marrying a non-brahmin. Social pressures to conform can be difficult and even harmful. Sometimes these ties to the past are like life-lines to hold a community together. 

Look closely around the door frame of this little temple at the Tamil inscriptions. You will see something very similar around the entry of the Taj Mahal. Although it is in a different language, for, essentially, a different culture, these ritualistic and symbolic things help us make sense of the world. They give a point of reference like a compass. For thousands of years India has absorbed other cultures, other invaders into their folds. I wonder how it will handle the western psyche where unity is not understood, community means little and individuality reigns supreme.